Whole New Ball Game Now

A young boy, Eugene, has just been handed a picture of a naked lady by his brother—the first he’s ever seen. His mother calls the boys for dinner, and his brother exits. Eugene hollers, “Just a minute! Just a minute...” then sings:


EUGENE:  Just a minute or two ago,

I was still a child, I know,

Fighting tooth and nail with puberty...


I was foolish, I was green,

I was at that age between,

When one wanders as bewildered as can be...


But...at my advancing age,

I have turned a sudden page,

And I’ve come to know what I could never see.


Life is colorful and new,

Now I’ve had a sample view,

Of the wonders that it has in store for me!


Excuse me, brother, my head is spinnin’,

I can’t get rid of this grin I’m grinnin’,

Oh, what a childlike state I’ve been in...

It’s a whole new ball game now!


My eyes as big as the kitchen sink,

My throat is dry, I’m afraid to blink,

Now what would A.J. Cronin think?

It’s a whole new ball game now!


Holy smoke! How dark and dull and dim the day was,

‘Till I awoke to the golden palace of the Himalayas!


If ignorance is bliss...

Then someone tell me, what is this?


My head is spinnin’ like a big tornado,

My heart is burstin’ like a hand grenade, oh

Nora, dear, you’re a small potato!


(His mother calls him again, angrily, as his lima beans are getting cold.)


Lima beans? Oh, wow!

‘Cause it’s a whole new ball game now!


©1994 Deborah Abramson and Adam Steinberg

Exercise: Song for Brighton Beach Memoirs by Neil Simon

Music: Deborah Abramson

New Tuners Workshop, Chicago, Illinois

© 2020 Adam M. Steinberg / dba Squeaky Toy Music. All rights reserved.                                   ASCAP

All lyrics, music and other writing by Adam Steinberg unless otherwise noted.

See Terms page for bibliography of images.

This site was designed with the
website builder. Create your website today.
Start Now